“Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again!”

“I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.”

“There is more honor in a field well plowed than in a field steeped in blood.”

“About these developments George Orwell, in Nineteen Eighty-Four , was quite wrong. He described a new kind of state and police tyranny, under which the freedom of speech has become a deadly danger, science and its applications have regressed, horses are again plowing untilled fields, food and even sex have become scarce and forbidden commodities: a new kind of totalitarian puritanism, in short. But the very opposite has been happening. The fields are plowed not by horses but by monstrous machines, and made artificially fertile through sometimes poisonous chemicals; supermarkets are awash with luxuries, oranges, chocolates; travel is hardly restricted while mass tourism desecrates and destroys more and more of the world; free speech is not at all endangered but means less and less.”

“I'd rather hear an ugly truth, rather than an obscure lie.”

“I'd rather lie under an elephant suffering from diarrea with my mouth open wide.”